finishing my last book, I have been struggling a lot getting into my next writing project. It's been a while since I've been at this point, and I can't say I've missed it. Partly, the possibility is paralyzing. I read a study somewhere suggesting that people are actually happier the fewer options they're given, and I'd fully believe that, because there's something about ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE that's a complete nonstarter. I miss the boundaries and limits and familiarity of an already-realized world and characters; it's more comfortable than this sort of blind flailing about in the dark.
2. Like everyone else, we're obsessed right now with Downton Abbey (but still on Season 2, so no hints about what happens!). In the episode we watched last night Robert yelled at Cora, "Do you hear how childish and ridiculous you sound? BECAUSE I DO," and it was pretty much the most amazing take-that line ever. I'm going to use that for all my fights from now on, forever.
3. I turn 28 this week, which sounds a lot older than I feel. My high school self probably would've expected that by 28 I'd have catapulted myself fully into responsible adulthood--house, teaching job, all that. And when I was younger I think I would've expected a 28-year-old to be more ... competent, I guess, than I often feel. But in a lot of ways, things now are more amazing than anything I could've come up with for myself, and I'm grateful.
4. J told me last night he thinks I like birthdays more than most people. I disagree--I think he likes them less than most people--and it's not like I do really extravagant things or anything, which I pointed out, along with the fact that I think most people like birthday.
"Yeah ... but," he said, "I think you LOVE birthdays, which isn't really--"
Because birthdays are the best, I explained patiently. Everyone likes birthdays.
"I know," he said, "I just think you get more ... joy out of them than is normal. For most people. I'm just saying."
(Do you hear how grinch-like and joy-killing you sound? BECAUSE I DO.)
Then he started asking me what, exactly, in my childhood made me feel the way I do about birthdays. Which is maybe the fastest way possible to make something sound like a pathology that must be stamped out lest it be passed to the next generation.
5. I'm taking a class right now where we read through the entire Bible in 20 weeks and each week hear about the cultural and temporal context of the passages, and it's fascinating and mind-bending and often kind of beautiful. I'm realizing how much I approach the stories with a desire to fit them into what I already know and understand, and so often that's nowhere even near the true story. And the traditions of storytelling back then and in that culture, and the way things like numbers and stories and even people could be symbolic--super fascinating.
Also, I've been sick all week and am super behind on the reading.
6. J got sick before I did, and was painfully conscientious about trying to keep it to himself (his hands got chapped and bleedy from all the hand-washing!) and I lasted a week and was so sure I'd dodged it, and then on Sunday it finally got me. It got to the point where the whole house, basically, felt like a reasonable place to toss used Kleenex and I literally no longer cared about the mess.
7. I have no travel planned at all for the foreseeable future, and while I actually honestly kind of hate traveling when it's imminent--the planes, the packing--I feel really wanderlusty right now (hence all the pictures taken while traveling!). Top on my list right now: Chicago. If I were making New Year's resolutions, going there might have been my resolution.
Linking up with 7 Quick Takes!